I’ve been taking time to watch and listen and see. To simply Be. In these grey days of winter the natural world is coming alive. The birds are singing, establishing territory and wooing their mates. The tree buds are beginning to fill and the first of the daffodils are flowering. The days are perceptibly longer. There is a shift in the energy of the world. Imbolc the Celtic first day of Spring will be with us in a week and Valentines Day soon after that.
So my thought turns to love and what we mean by love. The English language is generic in its approach – one word having a number of nuances. The ancient Greeks took a more sophisticated approach separating out the different forms of love.
Storge: affection a natural love as that of relationships within the family no matter how difficult they are. The quality of acceptance is inherent to storge.
Philia: this has a more ‘conscious’ quality to it. It can be a friendship or the love of a shared activity. There is something inherently rational in philia which includes loyalty and requires a sense of virtue, equality and familiarity.
Agape: is love in a spiritual sense. A love which comes from the heart and has unconditional or altruistic qualities. Giving with no sense of nothing in return. The only quality that is required is an open heart.
Eros: has a quality of passion of sensual desire and longing. According to Plato it can help the soul find beauty which in turn contributes to our understanding of spiritual truth leading to transcendence.
I am approaching a significant wedding anniversary. It’s a good time to reflect on my journey of love from the early days of passion to a deeper maturer friendship which accepts the other for who they are rather than who we might wish them to be. It hasn’t always been easy, I often think of it as climbing a mountain range. The whole breadth of landscapes are embraced – the lush valleys where we can bask in the warmth of the sunlight, the difficult barren ascents through rocky terrain and those incredible vistas from the peaks. I have another journey of love which runs alongside this one. A journey of love and acceptance of myself a journey into my shadows and out beyond towards a sense of wholeness. The Jungian journey is more about the integration of all aspects of the self, from a spiritual perspective as described by Ibn Arabi a 12th century Sufi scholar and mystic the path goes beyond the self into a path where personal identity dissolves in the divine. We are all an aspect of the divine.
In therapy it is not uncommon to have feelings of love or passion for our therapists or for our clients. It is termed erotic transference and countertransference. It’s a topic with insufficient understanding and often not spoken openly about. Explored with sensitivity it can open the door to a deeper understanding of connection and intimacy and the life experiences which have made this so difficult. It is an opportunity for growth within the safety of the therapeutic relationship.
Take a moment to go outside and listen – listen to the yearnings within yourself and burgeoning life in nature.
At The Nautilus Rooms we have therapists offering a range of therapies for children, adolescents, couples and families. Take a look at our website www.nautilusrooms.uk . The Nautilus Rooms are also home to one of the leading Sandplay teaching centres in the country. If you are looking to learn or expand your knowledge – do check out: www.sandplayuk.com